“[Using a machine called the Complete Cure Device] I defeated AIDS with the grace of my God at the rate of 100 percent. And I defeated hepatitis C.”

Outlandish pronouncements about HIV cures are nothing new, but this ridiculous claim arrives from an unexpected source: Egypt’s army. Speaking at a press conference, Major General Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, head of the Cancer Treatment and Screening center, explained that he had a machine that could rid blood of both hepatitis C and HIV (the prevalence of chronic hep C in that country is 10 percent, the highest in the world). CNN reports that others in the Egyptian medical community called the announcement a “scientific scandal.”