Corvallis, Oregon

Positive since 2000

I have been involved with HIV/AIDS since I first heard it mentioned on the evening news. That was on June 7, 1981. It was a Friday. I had just moved back to Fort Lauderdale after living in San Francisco for five wonderful years. I felt such a feeling of sadness that people who lived in San Francisco and New York had also lost their lives in such a horrible way. These were very dark, isolating times. There were many questions with no answers, no treatment, no medications, no support. In those days, an HIV diagnosis was a sure death sentence.

I lived through those times, and I saw firsthand the decline of health and eventually the death of many of my friends. Like many of us in those days, I also started to live a life of denial, feeling that something like this would never happen to me. I was not like those people. I was a good person. I was indestructible.

In 2000, I started to have some health issues: flu-like symptoms, night sweats, rapid weight loss, nail changes and thrush. All of which I now know were early signs of an HIV/AIDS infection, but I never got tested. I lived in denial, and I was able to self-medicate to get through the days when I was not feeling well. I was an avid drinker and recreational drug user and smoked three packs of cigarettes per day.

In early June, my family saw the condition I was in and decided to take me to a local clinic, where I received my very first HIV test. Two weeks later (this was before rapid testing), I received the results. On June 26, my 50th birthday, I not only heard that my test had come back positive but also that my disease had progressed to an AIDS diagnosis. Without treatment, I would have only a few months to live.

On that one day, my life changed forever. I started my treatment. I was a drug addict, so taking drugs was very easy for me. As each day went by, I realized that not only was I still very much alive but also that a few things had changed. I hadn’t had a drink, smoked a cigarette or taken any recreational drugs. Maybe, just maybe, I was on my way to quitting those self-destructive activities. I am very proud to say that I have been sober now for over 14 years.

Soon after my diagnosis, I moved to Oregon, where I got involved with an AIDS organization. I mostly wanted the opportunity to learn as much as I could about this disease that I was going to live with, however long that was going to be. I’m now the president/CEO of Valley AIDS Information Network Inc. (VAIN), located here in Corvallis. I have served as the state of Oregon’s HIV/AIDS Planning Group community cochair and have become a master trainer for a program affiliated with Stanford University called the Positive Self-Management Program. I co-facilitate six-week workshops throughout the state. This program was developed to give people living with HIV/AIDS the tools to manage their illness. I also share my story as a speaker in schools. Last year, I was able to reach over 1,000 students. I love where I am in my life. I have been given a second chance, and I will always be so thankful for that. I am healthier than I have ever been, and each year, I enjoy celebrating getting older with my partner of 13 years. Yes, I have found love (that’s a whole other story), even while living and thriving with HIV/AIDS.

What three adjectives best describe you?

Dedicated. Caring. Passionate.

What is your greatest achievement?

Dealing with my addictions.

What is your greatest regret?

Being so judgmental about the people living with HIV/AIDS in the early day. I would see some one with Kaposi’s sarcoma (KS) and run the other way.

What keeps you up at night?

Trying to figure out better ways to reach high-risk groups like the youth of today, who have no idea what the early days of this disease were like.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

The high cost of medications and making sure that everyone who is HIV-positive is linked to care.

What is the best advice you ever received?

You can make a difference.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

There is not just one person. I admire anyone who is making a difference.

What drives you to do what you do?

The fact that I have been given a do-over. I will always be so thankful for that, and doing what I do is my way of paying it forward.

What is your motto?

HIV/AIDS is not who I am. It’s what I have.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

Our dog.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?

A horse because they are so regal and proud.